


i'll stand by you - always.

by mehan kartik (daydreamingstoryteller)



Series: we may be the first to fall [3]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Aman fighting for his love, Ap hi duniya ho, Brief mentions of suicide attempt, Champa feels alot for her kids, Deleted Scenes, Family Feels, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, soft moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24372889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamingstoryteller/pseuds/mehan%20kartik
Summary: "Is this what loving someone and being loved by someone looks like?"Champa has a lot of thoughts and feelings about what had happened over the past few days. Looking at Kartik and Aman and their fight, she slowly realizes that maybe, she can learn a few things from them. About loving someone, and being proud of your love.
Relationships: Champa Tripathi & Aman Tripathi, Champa Tripathi & Goggle Tripathi, Champa Tripathi / Chaman Tripathi, Kartik Singh & Goggle Tripathi, Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Series: we may be the first to fall [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690273
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	i'll stand by you - always.

**Author's Note:**

> third installment out of 8 in my series! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! WE NEED MORE CHAMPA CONTENT PLEASE THANK YOU.

Try as she might, Champa could not stop herself from looking at Kartik. He hadn’t moved a single muscle since he fainted that afternoon. It’s well into the night by now, and looking at his prone form lying on the cot, limp and lifeless makes her queasy for some reason. 

She doesn’t know him. 

Never got to talk to him much, unlike Chaman had, but she knows that he’s special. To Aman especially. She remembers her nephew’s screams as Shankar bhaiya had repeatedly hit Kartik. She remembered seeing Aman twist and turn in Chaman’s hold as he tried to get away and stop his father.    
  
Champa knows that he might have even run in between the two men if he could have. But he was trapped in Chaman’s hold and Champa, while horrified at what was happening, could do nothing but watch. 

She had felt so helpless at that moment. In fact, she had felt helpless throughout the entirety of the past few days. Starting with the disaster of a wedding night. 

She tries to focus back on her cooking. It is what she turns to in hard times but now, even cooking isn’t a good enough distraction from her unyielding thoughts. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Keshav and Goggle eyeing Kartik too. She had always understood Aman’s worry and concern over the boy, but theirs? She feels ashamed to admit it but at first she’d been surprised at Rajni’s worry over the boy. 

When Rajni had run away from her own wedding, Champa couldn’t help herself but blame it slightly on that Delhi boy that had ruined everything. It was mostly her helplessness and fear taking a hold of her, but still. 

For just a few moments, in her head she had cursed Aman and Kartik. Kartik a little bit more so. 

She hadn’t been all that happy with the wedding, but she had never wanted it to go as badly as it did. Yes, her own marriage never turned out as great as her young self had hoped, and yes, a part of her had been relieved that Rajni didn’t have to suffer the same fate but that part had been overshadowed by the fear of her daughter being missing. 

She remembers the chaos of the kiss, the loud noises of the groom’s family and just a feeling of complete despair as Rajni had fled. She wasn’t able to hold in her emotions at that time. She doesn’t remember how long she was crying for, but she recalls sobbing into the phone, and into Keshav’s shoulder for a good while. 

Even after the tears had faded, the fear that had gripped her had not. She had been helpless in planning her daughter’s wedding and then helpless to stop it from crumbling apart. 

And that fear and helplessness from that night had stayed with her for the rest of the days, festering inside like a volcano, until all she was spewing out was barbed and sarcastic comments at everyone else around her. Chaman, Shankar bhaiya, bhabi. Everyone. 

The only moment it abided was when she saw with her own two eyes, her darling daughter walk back into their house, steadfast, determined, and most of all, safe. That was when she could finally breathe. The invisible noose that had hung around her had eased. But soon enough, that peace she thought the family had gotten back was shattered. 

She’s not sure what was worse. Seeing her brother-in-law do something that she’d never thought he’d do, the screams of pain from that boy, or the screams of anguish from Aman. 

She loves Aman, as much as the entire family does. He’s their pride, and joy, their  _ Guddu.  _ She was another mother to him, like how Sunaina and Shankar were a second set of parents for Rajni. 

But Aman and Champa had something a bit more special. To her, he’d been her little co-conspirator in taking care of Goggle. He was the one she knew Goggle trusted the most and vice versa. 

Whenever Goggle would get too upset or angry, it was Aman that went to her to calm her down. It was Aman that got her to cheer up. And everyone in the house lets him. Champa doesn't trust anyone with Goggle like she does Aman. Her nephew was always there for her daughter. She could count on that. 

He had always given her support, and to see him so distraught? To hear him be in pain? To watch him fight against his own family? She understood then just how important Kartik was to him. 

Yet, seeing Goggle too care about this boy that Goggle only just met.... 

She’d been confused. Even Keshav caring about Kartik made sense, because that boy was so caring that it wasn’t unusual for him to get close to strangers fast. But Goggle?

She never let many people get close to her. In fact, even now her innermost circle was limited to her brothers and maybe a few friends from school. Hence, seeing the way she’d almost instantly had let Kartik in made Champa pause. 

Later, sometime after Kartik had fainted and been laid out to rest, Champa had gone to find Goggle. She was still angry at all of them, on behalf of Kartik. Champa could tell from the way she had been pointedly avoiding the adults in the house. 

But when she had gone to ask why, and ask where she had run off to the nights before, the answer she got back had shaken her to the core. She not only understood why Goggle was protective over Kartik, but Champa herself too, had started to love the boy a little. How could she not? 

~~~

_ “Oh Goggle, where were you? How could you leave us like that? We were so worried!” Champa berated her, the fear that had abated at Goggle’s return coming back full force, as she recalled the events of the past few days.  _

_ But Goggle remained silent.  _

_ “Goggle, why are you mad at us? Goggle, talk to me bacha” Champa pleaded.  _

_ “I’m mad at you for what all of you did to Aman, and Kartik. Especially Kartik.” She said finally. Her tone was firm and unrelenting. Champa noticed the anger, but she also noticed the hurt. She genuinely cared for this boy that they’d only known for a few days.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She couldn’t help but ask, “Goggle, he’s the reason why your wedding got canceled in the first place. How are you so close to him already? We don’t know anything about him.” _

_ Goggle turned around immediately and spat out, “He loves Aman. That’s all I need to know to care about him.” _

_ “Goggle haan, that seems true but-” _

_ “But nothing mummy.” She says, with a no-nonsense tone. Champa gets visibly startled and seeing that Goggle calms down a bit. Her tone is softer now, as she tells Champa, “It’s not Kartik’s fault mummy. He didn't purposely destroy my wedding. It wasn’t his or Aman’s fault.”  _

_ Champa stays silent. Goggle continues on as if a dam had finally been let out.  _

_ “Haan, anyway, you said that Ashok was too old na? What was I going to do with that old guy? It’s a good thing I didn’t marry him....and also, if they can’t accept my brother and my jiju then I don't want to be married into that family anyway.”  _

_ Champa’s confusion grows. She could dismiss the care about Kartik as just the natural side effect of Goggle’s love for her brother and his happiness but ‘jiju’? The way Goggle said it feels as though she had already accepted in her heart that there was no way Kartik wasn’t already her family.  _

_ She used the tone she uses when defending Keshav or Aman.  _

_ “They don't deserve me or this family... if they are not okay with my jiju.” _

_ There was that word again. “Jiju? They don’t deserve our family but Kartik does?” Champa asks hesitantly.  _

_ Goggle looks her in the eyes, and takes a deep breath as if she was bracing for something and whispers, “He saved me from suicide mummy.” _

~~~

Champa can’t bring herself to remember the conversation that had happened after that declaration. She had broken internally at what her daughter had said. But like she always does, Champa had hidden that pain and it manifested itself as shock and rage to Google. 

She remembers half yelling, half pleading at her on why she would do such a thing. How she could even think that the wedding being canceled was worth dying for. But mostly she remembers how she had felt useless and worthless. 

If she couldn’t even get her daughter a good life, what was she even doing with hers? After that conversation, her anger at Chaman and herself had grown. What kind of parents were they that they couldn’t even keep their daughter happy? 

But at the same time, her appreciation of Kartik also grew. She didn’t understand what was so special about him in the beginning. But after getting to know all that he’d done for Goggle? After seeing how much Aman cares and loves that boy? After seeing Kartik get back up and fight for her Aman? 

She doesn’t know how to describe what she feels, but gratitude isn't enough. 

She doesn’t even want to imagine what would have happened if Kartik hadn’t found Goggle. She doesn’t think she could have handled something like that. She had always thought that Goggle was strong and confident, and she still is. Of course she is. But Champa hadn’t realized that she could also get hurt so much so that she’d even consider ....

Her eyes wander back to the limp form of Kartik on the cot. Her mind hasn’t stopped replaying everything she’s ever seen and noticed about him. 

He had saved her kid. Her strong daughter had needed someone there for her in one of the worst moments of her life, and he had been there and comforted her. He’d brought her home. 

And all they’d done in return was hurt him and in turn, hurt their own kids. 

She’s thinking of all of this, and what has become of her family when she overhears her didi and bhaiya’s conversation. About Aman. 

He hasn’t come out of his room since he’d run in that afternoon. 

Suddenly a thought pops into her brain that makes her blood run cold. Aman wouldn’t have...No. 

Aman would never do something as stupid at that..... but ...that’s what she had thought of about Goggle. And she’d been wrong. 

She knows that Shankar bhiaya had threatened suicide but, she knows that he wasn’t being serious. Her kids on the other hand...

It seemed like they were more emotional than she’d ever noticed. They both were very emotional and connected to Kartik especially. It was like he was the one grounding them and keeping them sane. 

Because Kartik was the one that got Goggle back from the edge and she knows Aman loves the boy to death. 

The more she thinks about it, the more the anxiety in her grows. 

_ ‘What if? _ ’ Her mind whispers, and she can’t take it any longer. She blurts out the question that wouldn’t leave her be, to the rest. 

“He wouldn’t have committed suicide na?”

She had thought voicing it would help ease her worry, but looking at the dawning horror on her didi’s face, the way in which everyone was about to run up to Aman’s door, only made the situation worse. 

Oh god. They really were doing a bad job of looking after their kids weren’t they? They had totally ignored Goggle during the wedding fiasco and then, now, they’d completely dismissed Aman. They were so caught up on making sure they hadn’t accidentally killed Kartik that they’d didn’t even spare a moment to consider Aman’s situation. 

Champa tries her hardest to go back to her cooking, trying to calm herself down but nothing distracts her. Her mind is set on replaying Aman’s anguished screams from earlier that day, when he was almost begging his dad to stop. 

She gets pulled out of her musings when the rest start to argue about something or another. Chaman tries to chide her for asking such horrible questions, and it sets her off. All the anxiety that had been burning inside her comes out as scathing remarks. 

She starts lamenting about how her kids are too soft nowadays, always running to suicide and whatnot. She doesn’t mean for it to sound as mad and angry as it comes out, but it feels like she’s lost a grip on her emotions. 

Soon everything that she’s been feeling about Goggle’s wedding, Aman and Kartik, her own problems with her marriage, it all comes out. 

She’s had worse, she got through it. Of course she had the help of her old songs, but still. She survived, she got a husband even if it wasn’t her perfect or ideal choice. 

She thought she’d married a lawyer but she’s only ever been disappointed by Chaman. She hates it a little. How everyone mocks him and doesn’t take him seriously. She can’t take him seriously either. 

All these tiny tiny frustrations pent up over the years spill out into a full-blown out fight that no one knows how it got started. Champa too gets caught up in the screaming and the yelling that she doesn’t notice what she’s been saying or that the rest of the family has been trying to stop them. 

But they stop when Sunaina didi’s scream cuts through the entire house. 

“AMAN!” 

All arguments and fights are forgotten as the entire family runs up the stairs. Champa’s heart is beating wildly, terrified about what they might find. But the sight that greets them at the top is puzzling more than it was terrifying. 

Aman is standing in front of didi, both of them glaring at each other. Yet, Aman is the one that looks more than a little angry while didi looks more hurt than mad. When Aman notices the rest of the family there, he doesn’t say anything but pushes them aside and runs down. 

The confusion of what had occurred made the rest stay put. When Sunaina finally explains what’s going on, Champa doesn’t know what to feel. 

Aman was leaving. 

He had packed all his things and was leaving them. And no one knew if it was for good or not. 

They all stood around for a good few moments not knowing how to process this information. Champa turned to look at the steps where Aman had just walked down from. He’d walked away from them. 

She moved up to the ledge on the balcony looking down, and she could feel the rest of the family coming to join her. Kartik was awake. It seems as if Aman had woken him up and helped him into a jacket. 

She watches, almost with a slight bit of guilt, how Aman cares for this boy. The amount of love he has shines clearly through the gentle actions. In fact, looking at Aman now, Champa realizes that Aman had always looked like that. At least, every time it came to Kartik. 

She thinks back to the train when she first saw the boy, then later at the wedding when both him and Aman were dancing the night away. She remembers now, the lovesick look in Aman’s eyes. 

He never once removed his eyes from Kartik. Even when he was being silly and foolish.....

All at once, Champa’s mind recalls every single time she’s seen Kartik and Aman together in the past few days. But more specifically, she remembers the times where they were being ridiculed, hurt, and yet... where they never once gave up on each other. 

She remembers the weird dance off Kartik and Shankar had had. Aman had stayed silent but strong support for Kartik, even as he fell down defeated. 

Then the kiss that Aman pulled Kartik into. Kartik had been so proud even as the crowds had been loud at their disgust. 

Even the drama Kartik had pulled just a few hours earlier here. Aman had been so happy to just see Kartik. Even when everyone was vocal about how foolish and ridiculous Kartik had been, Aman never once let that lovesick and proud look in his eyes fade. 

Not once did they ever give up on each other. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Champa glances at Chaman. She’s never been like that with him. That thought hits her more than any other realization she’s had that day. 

She’s never supported him whenever he’d get pushed around or whenever he makes a fool of himself. She’d only get angry at him, for everything the world says about him. She even joins in sometimes. 

They’re not like Kartik and Aman. Looking back down at them, she knows that’s true. 

Aman is holding onto Kartik as if he’s his lifeline. His hands are gently holding on to either side of Kartik’s faces. Their foreheads touching, each other but only a bit, their faces are so close as if they’re blocking out everything else that’s not each other. As if they’re the only thing the other needs. Maybe that is what it comes down to.

Maybe Kartik was to Aman what her songs had always been to her. A place of comfort. Maybe Chaman could have been that for her too...if only she’d tried. 

She watches the two of them for a little while more until she looks away. It feels too personal of a moment to be looking at. 

She turns away from the sight of them, and her mind now wanders to thoughts of herself and Chaman. She’s always been upset with him, over his lack of courage. For every foolish situation he gets himself into. 

Maybe she should have stood up for him. Stood by him at the very least. Had she done that? Had any of them done that for each other?

A hand on her shoulder gets her to look back up at the rest. They’re all heading down silently now. They’re going down to talk to Aman it seems. 

Champa follows silently. They reach the bottom of the stairs, and stare face to face with Aman and Kartik. It’s almost as if there's an invisible divide in the family now. 

The silence is only broken by Shankar’s unexpectedly soft voice. “Beta, listen here..” he starts softly, shocking everyone else. Champa doesn’t think she’s ever heard him sound that soft. Before he can say anything though, Aman interrupts. 

“No papa. I’ve listened to you long enough. I’m leaving with Kartik.”

He goes on to say more, but Champa tunes it out, as she really comes to understand what the two boys are doing for each other. She thinks she finally understands what loving someone is supposed to look like...what a loving relationship is supposed to be like. 

The world might ridicule you and your love, it might even call you names, but what really matters is that you stand by each other. Looking at the way Aman and Kartik have their hands around each other solidifies that idea in Champa’s mind. 

Aman is helping Kartik stand, and Kartik is keeping Aman steady as he fights his family. As he fights them. They’re standing by each other now as they have done all the times before. They’re standing by their love because they’re proud of it. 

And that’s something that she’d never seen until they showed it to her. She tunes back into the conversation, as the thoughts sink into her brain slowly. 

Offhandedly she thinks maybe she should thank the boys for showing her and teaching her what love means. 

She focuses back into the commotion going on in the house, and she catches the tail end of Aman’s rant. 

"..you can beat him, or even ridicule me. It doesn’t make a difference to me. I’m still proud of him and nothing you say or do will change that.” He asserts. He doesn’t even give anyone a chance to but in as he continues. 

“Kartik has nothing to prove to you. I don’t either. We don’t have anything to prove to the world, so say whatever you want Papa. I’m not leaving him.” 

A strange sort of silence befalls the Tripathi house. No one dares to take the first step. It feels like the beginning of a monumental change in the house. 

Finally, Champa notices Shankar bhaiya take a small step forward, closer to the boys. He has none of the conviction, the rage that he had had previously in his eyes. He just looks a bit lost as he asks, “You can fight us beta, but how will you fight the world?”

Champa will later look on at that moment as the moment where everything fell into place. Even though she’d already come to the same conclusion herself, by looking at the boys and learning from them, the sentences that were uttered that night really drove everything home. 

When Kartik opened his mouth - and his heart in a way- and answered Shankar, it was the beginning that they all needed. Champa couldn’t help but love him a little more after that. After those words that were so succinct, yet so powerful....

__   
  


_ “Ap hi duniya ho.” _

_ You are the only world that matters. _

**Author's Note:**

> just wanna thank my friends for really motivating me to finish this. It's been surprisingly hard to write this one out in particular. Thanks, guys for threatening me with chappals and no updates of your fics sdfghjgh :P
> 
> also go read the other fics in this series of mine!! they're so much better than this i feel. ngl, I am slightly disappointed in how this turned out, but I really hope that the message/theme kinda comes through. Sorry for mistakes if any! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE IDK IF THIS IS OOC.


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